Birth Mother Expenses

Adoption fees can sometimes be crazy. Registration fees, homestudy fees, admin fees, agency fees, finalization fees, attorney's fees. You feel like there is a vacuum cleaner next to your wallet and its sucking all of your money out. One of the fees that you run into is the birth mother fees. Now these are fees that pay for the birth mother expenses such as utilities, rent, etc. while she is pregnant and can't work.

Here are some things you might want to realize:
1) Not all agencies have birth mother fees. My agency does not
2)Most birth mother fees are "at risk" meaning that if the birth mother backs out of the adoption, you have lost whatever fees you paid her. Be careful here because that could be almost 1/3 of your adoption budget.
3)Keep your own records. If the agency pays something to the birth mother, then make sure you know how much. Some agencies are in this for the money so watch yourself. There is a ton of money going in and out of these agencies. Also don't get scammed by an agency that says they are Christian agency. My first child's Christian agency was shutdown. Do your research. check the Better Business Bureau for complaints against that agency. My wife and I are with a Christian agency now and love it. There are good agencies out there.

Best of luck and let me know how I can help

Toddler Sayings

Understanding children can sometimes be challenging and other times it is cute. I thought I would share some of my sons vocabulary.

chichen and wies - Chicken and Fries
stick - Popsicle
facee - Pacifier
Dragon - Dinosaur - Really it means to turn on the Land Before Time video
Marney - Barney

Waiting times

So you have filled out all of your paperwork. You have completed your home study. You have taken the physical and have your fingerprints back at the agency. Everything looks good. The agency tells you you're active. What is the average wait time. The answer is "It depends." What does it depend on. Well you have to be chosen by a birth mom. Well how long does that take? Weeks to Years. I have heard of people being active for a week and I have heard of couples being active for 2 years. It all depends on the agency.

On our first agency, they had the one year and under category. That was basically if your budget was huge. So that is saying that you have a standard costs and then there is the Birth Mom funds for things such as rent, utilities, etc. If the birth mom had a lot of expenses, then that was passed to the adoptive couple. So if your budget for Birth Mom expenses was say $5,000 and a birth mom had $8,000 in expenses, then you would not be chosen. The bigger your budget, the more birth moms that the agency could expose you to. Or so we were told. Then they had the second category for everyone else. Lower budget = longer wait. Note that this is not the case with all agencies. Choose your agency wisely.

Other items such as what you are open to might also extend your waiting time. So lets say you are not open to mothers with a history of alcoholism, or drugs. Or you don't want to consider multiples, or maybe a sibling group. Or you want a particular race of child. Being as open as possible is best. You also don't want to be open for something you are not ready for. For example: I have heard of a couple that was willing to consider hispanic babies but when they saw the child, said the baby was too dark. That situation was not good for the couple, the agency or the birth mom. Know your limits.

Preparing the kid for the next event

Being a first time parent. I am still learning how to do this. Regardless of what think I know, I continue to learn about being a better parent. One of the things that we have learned is to prepare Aiden for what's next. This might be obvious to the rest of you parents. But we tell him, 5 more minutes and we are going to get out of the bath and go get some milk. Or say goodbye to all of your friends and we are going to go home. Kids seem to need the transition and it works well for him. It has really cut down on a lot of frustration on his part and ours.

He is two this year and he is very strong willed. He likes to know where everyone is. Another thing that helps is to tell him the truth. So before I leave for work in the morning, I tell him where I am going. Now he tells people, Daddy's at work. He is visiting with Nana and Papa this week. He asked Nana the other day, "Where's Mommy?" Nana told him, Mommy's at your house but you're with Nana and Papa and we love you very much. Aiden said, "I love ya'll too". Just as plain as day. Gotta love that as a Dad.

Adopting Again

My wife and I are adopting our second child. While it is still a daunting task, there are some things that are going more smoothly. If you followed this blog, you know that we went through the foster system first and then chose to go the agency adoption route. While I wouldn't recommend this, the bonus was that we had already gotten our physicals back at the beginning of the year. We also had our fingerprints done. In addition, we only had to get our homestudy updated from our first adoption. This saves a lot of time and money. If you are adopting for the second time, see if your agency will update your first homestudy like we did. Let me tell you that another bonus is that since we have already walked down the adoption path, we are a lot less stressed about this one. Our agency is Christian and we went to the first of two training sessions and they opened up with prayer and then a devotion. That was unreal. The agency also does something a little different than our last agency. For most of their adoptions, you don't show up at the hospital for the birth. The baby is born and given to a private "foster" home who keeps the baby for the 10 day waiting period for the mother's right of redemption. After the 10 days, they call you and present the baby to you. The money is due when this happens. All the other agencies we checked into wanted the money up front. This is truly a change. If you are considering adopting again, then ask the questions about your homestudy being updated vs having a new one. This could save you some money because you will need that for diapers :)

Checklist for baby

So you know you are going to adopt a baby but have no idea of how to prepare for the new arrival. So lets say you also don't know if its a boy or a girl. Try this list on for size.

1. crib
2. Baby positioner pads/bumper (You know to keep them from rolling around on the bed)
3. diapers size N for newborn
4. Desitin cream for rash
5. Baby Shampoo - I would go with the Aveeno wash because their skin might be sensitive
6. Neutral color onesies - Green, Yellow, White
7. baby washcloths
8. Baby towels
9. Socks for newborn
10. Gowns for sleeping or sleep sacks
11. Baby laundry detergent like Drift
    
12. Baby tub - Maybe
13. Changing table - Maybe

I hope this list gets you started. Hey, check your consignment sales, thrift stores and Goodwill for some of these items. Most baby clothes are only used for a couple of months before you change the size so until you get to Age 2, gently used clothes are fair game. One other item to remember is to always wash used clothes in your baby laundry detergent before using. Again, if your baby has sensitive skin, they may react to the detergent used to clean the clothes. Best of luck.

Fingerprints

One of the things that you will need in order to adopt is to take your fingerprints. In the State of GA, you need to get your fingerprints by the FBI and the State of GA. In our situation, we live in a county so our fingerprints were taken at the Sheriff's office. The strange thing was we were fingerprinted at the jail. The hoops you jump through in our order to adopt. If you are going through the state foster agency, they will take care of that for you. In the State of GA, you attend 7 weeks of training and you are fingerprinted during one of the classes. Independent agencies may require you to get the fingerprint cards and get them yourself. Our fingerprints expired after one year so we had to have them taken again with our first adoption. Check with your local police department or sheriff and hopefully you won't have to go the jail to get that done.

Do you get to take the new born home from the hospital

Why that depends on the agency you choose. Most agencies call you at the birth, you travel to the hospital and are there at the birth of your child. Depending on the birth mom, you name the child. The attorney met us at the hospital and got sign off from the birth mom for her rights. Then the child basically got handed to the lawyer and back to us.

Now my wife and I are working with another agency in the state of GA. That agency does things a little differently. They place the child in a home where they hold it for 10 days while they wait for the mothers rights to be terminated. At that point, the child is handed to us for finalization. Both ways are neat. As a first time father, I learned a lot from the nurses at my sons birth. They really taught us how to care for an infant. We learned a ton. My wife was even wheeled out in a wheel chair with the baby. I understand from some online sites that the wheel chair for adoptive moms is common. The hospital staff was great with us so you can tell they have done that a lot. They let us stay in a hospital room Others sometimes stay at the local Ronald Mcdonald house. That all depends on the hospital you use.

How to choose an agency

When you adopt, one of the biggest choices you have to make is what agency you will work with. There are some great agencies out there and there some agencies who just want your money. Speaking of money, some agencies want everything up front and others will let you pay gradually. Let me tell you that one of the biggest challenges in adopting is putting all of your money and your emotions out there and then trusting that the agency will "Do the right thing." Believe me that you don't want to get in that situation. My wife and I lost 2500 dollars at one agency and it then went out of business. We came out with our son so we are thankful because other couples lost 10's of thousands of dollars. So how do you avoid those costly mistakes?

1. Use a referal of a friend where possible
2. Check the Better Business Bureau
3. Google that business. Lets be honest, you have to take this step with a grain of salt because, if you're happy with your adoption, you probably don't care about leaving a good comment but all of the folks who complain use the internet to "Vent".
4. You may consider using a referral agency first. They should be able to look at the available children of multiple agencies and then pair you up with the right one. PLEASE investigate all agencies.

One of the things my wife and I are doing with this adoption is using an agency that is basically a pay as you go. Plus there is no payment due until the child is yours. Other agencies like you to pay them and then if the match fails, you lose your "At Risk" money. So these agencies have a budget for adoptions fees, then a budget for the Birth Mom expenses and the Birth Mom expenses are "At risk" depending on how much of that budget the birth mom uses. So just to review your fees might include:
1. Application Fee - Register with agency
2. Home Study Fee - Your homestudy
3. Agency Fee - Agency expenses
4. Post Placement Fee - Followup when child is in home
5. Legal Fees - Attorney to close the adoption.
6. Birth Mother Fees - utilities, rent, etc while the mom has the baby

Some agencies might call them different things but that's the core list. Some agencies want you to find your own lawyer and others want you to use their lawyers. Ensure what fees are included in the total price.

You will also see a lot about how long it will take to complete your adoption. Some couples wait 2 years and others will wait 2 weeks. Look at the average wait times. How many couples are there in your program? I'm sure I have missed a lot but this will hopefully get you thinking about what you need. Please ask questions if you need anything.

Who names the Baby?

In our case, the Birth mom allowed us to choose the name of the baby. That Baby then was named the first name and middle name that we chose and took the birth mom's last name. So lets say the Birth Mom's name is Sarah Jones. Your name is Jim Smith. You want the babies name to be Mary Elizabeth. The Baby will leave the hospital with Mary Elizabeth Jones. When you finalize the adoption in front of the judge, the baby takes on your last name so the name will then become Mary Elizabeth Smith. If the Birth Mom will not allow you to choose the babies name, you can change the name at the finalization hearing as well.

So lets take this one step further. When you take that baby home, you have to add the baby to your insurance. That baby will be named Mary Elizabeth Jones even though your name is Smith so make sure that appears on the Insurance Card. This can be strange for a while but Mary will have your name soon enough. Best of luck

What if the father is out of the picture

We had a situation in our adoption where the father was out of the picture. What does that mean for the adoption? Well its pretty simple really. Under the law, your attorney will file a notice in the newspaper of the county of the father. That notice will continue for 4 weeks depended on the state law. After that, you will be considered to have completed your "due dilligence". You have satisfied the law.

Choosing your attorney

One of the things that I will do different in the second adoption that I didn't do in the first adoption was to choose an attorney that works in my county. In the first adoption, the adoption agency chose the attorney for us. So the attorney works in downtown Atlanta and we live in the suberbs. This attorney had to jump through many hoops that I think he wouldn't have had to if he was local. In addition to that, we had to pay for multiple trips to our county from downtown Atlanta which is 30 plus miles one way. This just prolonged the adoption and added to our budget and frustration level. Take my advice, the "Good Ole Boy" system is still in use out there and if you have a choice, use an attorney that primarily works in the county you reside. He will know the judges and have worked with them and know what they like and don't like.

Post Placement visit

What is the post placement visit? This is the follow-up visit where someone comes out to your home and completes a report which states that the child is thriving in your home. So lets take a walk through your adoption journey.

Step 1: Paperwork – Background Checks, Health Checks, Credit Checks, etc.
Step 2: Home Study – Normally 3 visits. If a husband and wife are adopting, one visit with both parents, one visit with the husband and one visit with the wife.
Step 3: Go active – This is the waiting game. You either wait on the Biological Mother to choose you or you wait on the State to choose you as the parent.
Step 4: Matched with the child or perspective parent.
Step 5: Consent by the biological mother and father
Step 6: Follow-up visit typically by the Home Study provider.
Step 7: Finalization

Ok, this should put things in perspective. Before finalization, an agency will do a follow-up visit to see how things are going. Think of it like the homestudy for the court. You have done all of the work for the birth mom to pick you. Now its time to shift your focus to the court. Typically this step is completed by the agency that completed your home study. In our first adoption, our agency was in Kansas. We had to get our home study completed on our own. We used a local agency from Georgia. The cost of the home study included the followup for the post placement visits. In Georgia, we had to complete 2 post placement visits. Your state might be different. Don't worry because its almost over at this point. After this step, the lawyer schedules the finalization hearing and its over.

Police: Calif couple tried to sell baby at Walmart | ajc.com

Police: Calif couple tried to sell baby at Walmart | ajc.com

Why we didn't choose the Foster to Adopt program

My wife and I chose to use Adoption rather than Foster to Adopt for this upcoming adoption. We originally thought that because there was no expenses in Foster care. In our first adoption, the expenses was the biggest issue. The first agency took all of our money up front and the match failed and we were stuck. This eventually lead to the adoption of our son but the agency was very difficult to deal with. That being said we thought Foster would be the best fit for us. I wanted to discuss in this blog, what are the pros and cons of adoption verses Foster care.

Adoption is finding a forever family for a child. There are costs involved. The agency we are using is a pay as you go agency. For example. We pay $50 for an application fee. Then if that goes through we pay $400 for our profile and training class. After the training class we are active. Then after the child is placed with us, we pay the final fee. Now let me tell you, my first adoption worked more like, pay everything up front and then there was a certain amount of expenses that were at risk. We have talked about those expenses in earlier blogs but I will be glad to cover those again if you shoot me an email at how2adopt@gmail.com.

Foster to adopt is providing a temperary home for a child that is in State custody. Our state has 3 programs. Foster, Adoption and Foster to Adopt. Adoption is for the adoption of older kids. We were told that if you wanted to adopt a baby, the wait time was at least 3 years. Foster is keeping kids in your home for a temperary basis. As long as the birth parent works the program per the states guidelines, the child will eventually go back to the birth parent. This could be up to 2 years before that child is available for adoption. Foster to adopt is the same as fostering a child. The only difference is that you are going into the program with the expectation of finding a child for your family. Lets be honest. There are no guarantees here. You do set the guidelines for what kids you are willing to accept in your home but there is still a "risk" of the child being replaced in his birth parents home.

There are emotional hurdles regardless of what route you choose to take. In both programs, you must be prepared to face these hurdles. For example, you might have a failed match with adoption or you might have a child go back to the birth parents in Foster to adopt. However, the rewards of having those kids in your home are worth any price you have to pay. You have to choose the road that's best for you and your family.

I would love to know your thoughts about both Foster and adoption programs. Please comment and lets share with each other what we know. Thanks

Things I wish I would have asked the Birth Mom

When I look back on our adoption journey, I think about what would have been good to ask the Birth Mom. We didn't have that much time after we met her that we could ask questions. In our situation, we had trouble communicating with her so when we missed talking with her once, I submitted our questions in writing to the agency and the birth mom answered them. That was good. The one thing we shy'd away from was asking about the Birth Dad. We never met him. Didn't even know his name until the lawyer told us. I wish I knew more about him from the birth mom. We were scared at the time that if we asked about him, it would make her uncomfortable and that would kill our adoption. You know if you haven't secured the adoption, you run scared. But that is where I wish I had more information. I would want to know what he looked like. What did he like to do, sports, music, etc. What did he like to eat? Our son is small and strong tempered. He wants things his way. He's a fighter. Strong for his size. He likes salad, pasta, fig newtons. He loves music. What were you like Bio Dad?

Best Adoption friendly workplaces

List published by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption friendly work places. Don't miss the benefits. Complete list on the Google Group site. Click on the ebook link to get to this list.

America's Top Ten
1 Wendy's International, Inc.
2 Citizen's Financial Group, Inc. / RBS Americas
3-TIE Liquidnet
3-TIE LSI Corporation
3-TIE United Business Media LLC (UBM)
6 Subaru of America, Inc.
7. Bowen Engineering Corporation
8. Timberland
9. Barilla America
10. Time Inc.

Neat things about my son

My wife and I are Caucasion and our adopted son is 1/2 Caucasion and 1/2 Hispanic. When we run into people who don't know he's adopted its pretty cool. They say, he looks like his mom or he looks like his Dad. I've heard this many times. Most of my friends at church didn't know he was adopted until I mentioned that we are adopting again. Back to my son, other than the fact that he looks like my wife and I, we have noticed that he has some food tastes that are similar to us. My wife loves olives and pickles just like my son. I love sweet potatoes and so does he. I say this to point out that some of us are called to adoption. Everything happens for a reason. Its almost as if God fashioned my son with our DNA. I know that sounds crazy but if God can form the Universe, he can form a child. Your child is waiting out there for you too. Maybe he won't look like you like mine did but there is a child that is set apart for you. That's exciting isn't it.

Great message for adoptive parents

This video is so powerful. Please listen if you have a chance. Lori Salierno is a powerful speaker.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3546104328702470130#

How to get your husband on board

So you have decided that adoption is right for you but your husband doesn't know if it is right for him. How do you get him on board? The first thing to realize is that men deal with facts and not emotion. You need to know the facts. This is what invitro costs, this is what adoption costs. The benefits are ? Explain the facts. It also doesn't hurt to slap him with reality. If we have a child today, in 20 years you will be on social security when he/she is in college :) Remember that most books are read by women and not men. He's typically the magazine reader not the book reader so make it easy for him to see the facts. If you have any friends that have adopted, talk to them. Preferably together. This will get him thinking about it for sure.

The Second thing to realize is that you need to sit down with him and talk to him undistracted. Don't let the TV or the radio or dinner get in the way. My wife and I talk about things after we get the kid in bed. Plan the moment. Get in his face and let him know what you are thinking. So now you have your facts together. You have the time set aside and now what.

The third tip is to share your heart. No this doesn't conflict with the first point. You need to share your heart. He fell in love with your heart. He needs to know what this adoption means to you and what it will mean to him. This is not the time to start World War II. With your facts in hand, he doesn't need to think "retreat". He needs to think that she really does care about this. She really wants this. She has put the time into this and I should think about this too.

Now you have shared your heart, the facts and you have done all of this in the perfect time. What next? Don't rush him. Leave him with the info and let him soak. He needs to feel like he decided to get on board, not like he was pushed over board. You get it. If you miss the fact that he needs to make the decision, you will own the process by yourself. You have to walk down this road together or when things get rough, its your fault. If he decides that night that this is the right thing to do then great but if he doesn't then give him some soaking time.

Don't give up. Adoption is the best decision that my wife and I have made. Let it be yours too.

Finalization

You get to the step of finalization. So lets walk through the steps.

• Step 1: Paperwork – Background Checks, Health Checks, Credit Checks, etc.
• Step 2: Home Study – Normally 3 visits. If a husband and wife are adopting, one visit with both parents, one visit with the husband and one visit with the wife.
• Step 3: Go active – This is the waiting game. You either wait on the Biological Mother to choose you or you wait on the State to choose you as the parent.
• Step 4: Matched with the child or perspective parent.
• Step 5: Consent by the biological mother and father
• Step 6: Follow-up visit typically by the Home Study provider.
• Step 7: Finalization

Now what is Step 7? You have the child in your custody and now is the hearing. In our case, we had the mothers consent but the father was out of the picture. We put in the local paper of the father a newspaper clipping that had all of the legal ease about the child being born and asking for him to step forth. He didn't. Our attorney filed that with the court. After that we went back and forth with the judge for a while. Then we had our hearing. We went into the courtroom and the judge called us back to his office. We signed the papers in his office, took some pictures and off we went. After all was said and done it was a let down. No struggle at all.

I tell you this story to remind you that to enjoy the journey at this point. You are at your end. You as parents have the child and you have done everything in your power to get to this point. Let the attorney do his job and take it easy. You are at the end of the line. The child will take your name and off you go.

Adoption Grants

There are also a number of Grants available. We did not use these but its worth a try. Also don't forget to check with your work for Adoption benefits.

The Boatner Family Foundation- This foundation provides grants from $1,000 up to $10,000. They require an agency approval, a financial statement, and a formal application. Contact: The Boatner Foundation, P.O. Box 132272 , The Woodlands, Texas 77393-2272.

The Gift of Adoption Fund- The Gift of Adoption Fund provides financial assistance to moderate- and low-income families seeking to adopt. Preference will be given to those applicants who are experiencing extraordinary hardship. Examples would include medical special needs on the part of the child and/or situational hardship on the part of the parents or the child. Homestudy must be completed. Grants are available in amounts up to $5,000. For more information, visit the Gift of Adoption Fund Web site or call 262-268-1386. $20 application fee.

God’s Grace Adoption Ministries- Offers grants to two-parent, Christian families who make less than $60,000 a year. The grants are between $1,000 and $4,000, with $2,000 being the average amount given. A $10 application fee is charged.

Home for Good- Grants given to families adopting older children, special needs children, sibling groups, and other hard to place children. This grant program works with partner churches. Grant amounts vary depending on the situation and need.

Open Arms Children’s Charities- Open Arms gives grants twice a year, on January 15 and on June 15 and they do not limit who they help by marriage, adoption program, religion or any other factor. They are open to all adoption situations, and their only requirement is that a homestudy is complete. A $15 application fee is charged.

Brittany’s Hope Foundation- Brittany’s Hope does not give grants to adoptive parents, however they place grants on waiting children, especially children that have special needs, from a variety of countries. Grants up to $7,500 for a single child and $10,000 for a sibling group have been assigned. You can see waiting children on the Brittany’s Hope website.

Caroline’s Promise- These grants are only available to North Carolina families who have a completed homestudy and are using a licensed agency. Grants are given between $3,000 and $5,000.

Fore Adoption Foundation- Grants and educational grants are available to families adopting children from the United States. Grants can be used for agency fees, attorney fees, birth mother expenses, etc. Families must have a completed homestudy and a pending adoption to apply. A $20 application fee is required.

His Kids Too!- The His Kids, Too! grant program is open 3 times a year for new applications. New applications are accepted August 1 – 31, December 1 – 31, and April 1-30. Applications are sent from His Kids, Too! via e-mail on the first date of the acceptance period, till the 15th of the month. No applications are sent via U.S. postal service, only via internet. Applications are given a 30 day review period starting when they are received, but final decisions are not made until the end of the acceptance period. For parent(s) adopting international children, His Kids, Too! provides an adoption grant of up to $2000 for one child, and up to $4000 for 2 children. Grants are paid directly to the agency or facilitation service (for independent adoptions, grants approved on a case-by-case basis).

Sea of Faces Foundation- Grants are available to Christian, heterosexual couples, with a completed homestudy and who are working with a licensed and accredited agency. Grants are given up to $5,000 and are given in the months of March, June, September and December. Families must have a referral before grants is given. A $5 donation is requested at time of application.

Shaohannah’s Hope- Grants are available to families using any licensed and accredited agency, but priority is given to those that are using one of the agencies listed on the website. Homestudy must be complete at time of application and the application is done on-line. This is a Christian organization.

Adoption loans

By far the number one help to adoptive couples is the federal tax credit. We used a home equity line of credit to fund ours. But what other loans are available. Try the list below.

1.

ADOPTION NETWORK LAW CENTER

www.adoptionnetwork.com
1-800-FOR-ADOPT

Adoption Network Law Center makes available credit based adoption loans up to $50,000 with repayment terms from 24 to 84 months. Interest rates start at 9.99% and they offer same-day decisions on loan applications. You can apply online at:

http://adoptionnetwork.com/adoptiveparents/credit-based-adoption-loans.shtml

2.

ABBA Fund

http://www.abbafund.org/

P. O. Box 78800

Charlotte, NC 28271-7042

The ABBA Fund provides interest-free covenant loans to Christian couples who are called by God to expand their families through adoption and who need help with the "cash flow crunch" posed by adoption expenses.

3.

IVF FINANCING

www.ivffinance.com
P.O. Box 2374

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL 32004

1-888-285-9871

IVF Financing is a loan program offered through Medical Business Solutions. Medical Business Solutions offers unsecured adoption loans, as well as home equity loans. Medical Business Solutions is a general lending company, so they have a wide variety of home equity loan options, including programs for people with credit problems. You can apply online at https://www.ivffinance.com/localivffsignup.html

4.

A Child Waits Foundation

http://www.achildwaits.org/

866 999-2445 (866 999-child)

FAX: 518 794-6243

1136 Barker Rd, Pittsfield, MA 01201

cnelson@achildwaits.org

The foundation provides low interest loans for families who have exhausted other financial options and could not proceed with their adoption without additional help. The foundation will loan $10,000 or up to 50% of the cost of the adoption, whichever is less, with a repayment term of no more than five years. The adoptive parents must provide the initial funds to adopt. They must be working with an adoption agency licensed in the state of operation, and if approved, funds will be dispersed just prior to finalization of the international adoption. Eligibility is based upon both financial need and credit history

5.

MBNA
www.mbna.com
1-888-844-3775

MBNA Gold Option is a term line of credit up to $25,000 with repayment terms from 36 to 72 months. The variable interest rate is based upon credit history and will range from a minimum of 9.24% to a high of 25.24%.

Apply online: https://www1.fni-stl.com/cgi-bin/mbnaloannet.pl?form&track=mbnago05

6.

LIFESONG FOR ORPHANS

http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/

PO Box 40

202 N. Ford St

Gridley, IL 61744

309-747-3556

info@lifesongfororphans.org

Lifesong for Orphans encourages Christian couples to adopt a child by relieving some of the financial burden of international and domestic adoption. They offer Interest-Free Loans and Matching grants.

7. This loan program is no longer in place...sorry for the inconvenience.

8.

OXFORD ADOPTION FOUNDATION

www.oxfordadoption.com
4309 Crayton Road

Naples, FL 34103

239-430-6240

Oxford offers no interest or low interest loans for international adoptions, based upon financial need. Oxford will generally lend up to $5,000 per child, up to a maximum of $10,000. The typical loan terms are 0% interest for the first three years, 3% interest for the next three years, and 6% interest for the final three years, for a maximum loan term of nine years. Adoptive parents should try to obtain funds from all other sources before contacting Oxford, as they lend only the final amount of money necessary to complete the adoption where all other financial resources have been exhausted.

Birth Moms

From what I have seen of the adoption world, there are two kinds of birth moms. Either they are teens to early 20's and find themselves pregnant or they are 20's to 30's with multiple kids and this child is unexpected and they can't really afford it. So you are matched with a birth mom who probably hasn't made the best decisions to date. You schedule a call and they don't show up. You don't know why and a thousand things pop in your head. Are they backing out? Have they decided to keep the baby? Is she alive? Is the baby alive? Did I say something wrong at an earlier meeting and now they don't like me? Did they choose another couple? Your mind goes places that it should not. In actuality the girl is absent minded. Doesn't keep a good track of time and the first good decision that she has made lately has been to adopt her baby. Adoption is sometimes crazy. My cousin had an adoption where the birth mother backed out and decided to keep the child. She had the birth mom's number and called her. The birth mom's family had decided to keep the child. She talked with the birth mom and after realizing that my cousin was not an axe murderer and she was going to be responsible and raise the child correctly. They decided to go forward with the adoption and now my cousin has had the baby for 12 months.

So what to do? Keep a clear mind. Reschedule your meeting. If you can talk with the birth mom do so. Some agencies don't do this but some will. Remain positive because you don't want panic to show up on your calls with the birth mom. Remember that things will get better. Its a long road but there is an end to it.

Birth Mother Expenses

Is it legal for a couple who is looking to adopt to pay for birth mother expenses? The answer is Yes it is legal. The expenses should be reasonable such as rent, utilities, etc. It is reasonable that a birth mom could have expenses that would keep her from working. In our adoption, we paid for a cell phone for the birth mom because that was our only means of communication with her. She was out of state and that helped us. We bought a prepaid phone so that we control the expenses and are not left with a bill later on. If possible, pay these as you go and get the paperwork associated with the bill, phone bill, power bill, gas bill, etc.

Some agencies will ask you to come up with a budget where you have "at risk" money. The "at risk" money is for birth moms who decide to keep the baby after you have already paid some of those expenses. You as a couple will have to decide what the amount you are willing to put up "at risk". Adoptions interrupt all the time and you might lose it. Be aware. I would suggest a lot of communication with the birth mom. The more she knows that you are the couple for her child, the more comfortable she will be that adoption is the right decision for her and her child.

Being Open

So you want to adopt. You even have the first bit of paperwork for registering and the questions comes up. What are you willing to accept? Are you willing to accept multiples? What about race of the child? What about where the parents were alcoholics? Drug addicts? Male or Female? Let me tell you the questions sometimes make your mind swim. The real answer here is try to be as open as possible. Remember that you as the parents have the last word. You can turn down any situation presented. I've posted earlier about different kinds of adoptions like open, semi-open or closed. How much contact with the birth moms are you willing to accept? The more open you are the more situations you are presented which will speed things along for you. A lot of people fear the race of the child. When you think about race, ask yourself if the woman in the picture was disappointed when he came along.

New Direction

As for me and my house we are moving on. We are waiting for our homestudy to be approved by the County DFACS. What was supposed to be 4 weeks has turned into 12 weeks and we are moving on. We are pursuing an adoption agency in Macon, GA called Covenant Care Adoptions. They come suggested from a friend and so we are now filling out the paperwork. We have somewhat of a jumpstart because we already completed our fingerprints and have the septic tank inspected, etc.. Their first class starts in August. So we trusting God and waiting until August. Please pray for me and my family.

The cost of children

In the adoption world, there is a little known fact that race does effect the cost of babies for adoption. Adoption in itself is quite expensive but an african american child can cost as much as 10k less than a caucasion child. So Caucasion children are more expensive than hispanic children which are more expensive than african american children. I really don't understand how this can happen in 2010. How can supply and demand enter into the price of adoption? Here's an example: The same agency is offering an AA child for 20k. Caucasion/Hispanic mix for 28k and full caucasion for 33k. Sad but true story.

Adoption Tax credit News :)

The adoption tax credit, a benefit that helps make adoption more affordable for families, was increased and extended as part of the health care reform bill recently signed into law by President Obama.

Families who finalize an adoption in 2010 may now be able to take advantage of a tax credit of $13,170 for qualifying adoption-related expenses. The adoption tax credit was also made refundable for all types of adoption.

The adoption tax credit has helped families across the nation grow their family through adoption and has helped countless children in need find a forever family of their own. However, the tax credit was set to sunset at the end of 2010 and revert back to its original dollar limit of $5,000 per adoption or $6,000 for the adoption of a child with special needs. However, also as part of the health care reform bill, the credit has been extended until December 31, 2011.

Families should consult with a qualified tax expert to learn more about claiming the adoption tax credit.

To learn more about the adoption tax credit, visit http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html.

The day he took my name

When I think back to the adoption path one of the happiest days for me was the day my son took my name. I remember going to Dr visits and feeling so strange that my child had another persons name. Knowing that he would wear my name was a really great day that I look back on with pride. It was also the finalization hearing and so after that, our adoption journey was complete. After having a struggle to get to that point the finalization hearing turned out to be uneventful. The judge called us back to his office, we took some pictures and we were done. Aiden was my son the day I took him home from the hospital but when he took my name it was my aha moment. A day I will always remember.

The Waiting Game

We finished our IMPACT classes about 3 weeks ago. We are now in the waiting game. The part of the process where you wait to become active. It also happens when you wait for being matched. Then if you are going through a regular adoption you go wait some more for the baby to be born. Then you wait for parents rights to be terminated, then you wait some more for the final trial. When our son was born the adoption was finalized in December. On the last day that they were to finalize adoptions for my county. I am so glad that we finalized before the end of the year because I couldn't wait to get my tax refund. :)

Nesting - No you are not crazy

In the animal kingdom as with expecting mothers there is a somewhat humorous phase referred to as Nesting. During this phase the mother, acting on a primal instinct, has a tendency to prepare the “nest” for the arrival of the child. Parents preparing to adopt and awaiting the arrival of their new child have reported experiencing this phase as well.

Adoptive mothers have reported experiencing this phase particularly close to the arrival of their referral and in the weeks that lead up bring their child home permanently. Mothers who have birthed children or adopted previously claim to experience this phase again. My wife was nesting and totally wanted the nursery done. Walls painted and curtains and bookshelf and pictures.. The whole works. This seemed to help busy her while she/we waited on the match. HINT - Just remember to paint the walls a neutral color. We had to go this route because we didn't know if we were having a girl or a boy.

Just as with biologically expecting mothers there may be an urge to clean one’s house from top to bottom, rearrange everything, and sanitize, sanitize, sanitize. Adoptive parents, but especially mothers, desire to complete the furnishing and decoration of the new child’s bedroom. The preparation of this room is icing on the cake and a reminder of the life that is about to come home and inhabit that space. In addition, in a time of very little control and a lot of waiting nesting behaviors can give adoptive parents a sense of control as they in are charge of the home preparation.

The expert advise is to have fun with the nesting phase without being irrational! Bring other family members into the preparation and planning as much as possible, particularly siblings that may feel left out by the sudden attention taken away from them and onto re-organization of the closet for the 3rd time!

As you nest at home, whether you are an adoptive mother or father, do not forget to prepare your heart and the emotional needs of the members of your family for the arrival of your precious new child. Some things are more important than fresh paint and a dirt free floor.

Have fun preparing the nest!

TIP>>Watch the movie Juno - great clip of nesting.

What is the difference between Open, Semi-open and Closed Adoptions

The adoption world is full of industry terms and language that can be confusing to many. As many couples quickly learn, there is a lot more to the adoption process than simply deciding whether or not to pursue an adoption plan -- including what type of adoption they wish to pursue.

One of the most confusing issues facing prospective adoptive couples is the varying types of adoptions. Adding to this confusion is the fact that nearly every adoption professional has a different definition of what a closed, open and semi-open adoption entails.

Here is a list of what American Adoptions considers to be a closed, open and semi-open adoption:

Closed Adoptions

When many people think about adoption, they envision a closed adoption in which the adoptive family and birth mother remain confidential, with no contact prior to or after the placement of the child. For many generations, it was common practice to keep adoptions closed. However, in the early 1980s, adoption began to shift toward more openness. Today, some people believe closed adoptions to be "safer," mainly out of a fear that if the birth parents know where the adoptive family lives, that they will "take back" the child. While this fear has largely been perpetuated by television movies and sensationalized media reports, this is not true. Today's adoption laws are very clear - once the adoption is finalized, the adoptive family is recognized as the child's legal family.

Open Adoptions

While many adoption professionals have varying definitions of what an "open" adoption is, it typically means that the birth parents and the adoptive family speak prior to and even after the child is born without any agency involvement. This may include phone calls and face-to-face visits. Some adoptions of his nature are very open, with the adoptive family and birth parents exchanging contact information and agreeing to periodic visits by the birth parents as the child grows.

Semi-Open Adoptions

Semi-open adoptions fall in between open and closed adoptions. The adoptive family and birth parents usually will know basic information about each other, such as their first names and state of residence. Complete contact information, such as phone numbers and addresses, are not shared. While adoptive families and birth parents may speak to one another prior to the birth of the child, some confidentiality is maintained. Once the child has been placed with the adoptive family, the birth parents may still stay in contact with the family via letters and pictures, however this correspondence is handled by a third party, such as the adoption agency. American Adoptions handles all correspondence between our birth parents and adoptive families in a semi-open adoption. Our agency maintains the current contact information for each party - if the birth parents or adoptive family wishes to send a letter or pictures to the other party, they simply mail it to the agency. We then repackage the letter so there is no identifying information (such as mailing address) and forward it on to the recipient.

Homestudy

We had our first home visit by DFCS. I tell you its totally different than adopting privately. First off, the homestudy visit is there as an interview about you to tell DFCS of your past and make sure that you are the right material to foster a child in care. Your private homestudy is more of a coaching session to you to get your home ready.

DFCS wants to know your past employment, what you made at your past employment. What is your brothers phone number. What does he do. Do you have a good relationship with your parents. Do you have a good relationship with your brothers. How does your extended family feel about your decision to foster? They really go into a lot more detail about your life than a private/agency adoption. Most of the private adoption questions are in the forms. Fill out this form. Most of the DFCS questions are both. Fill out the form and Answer the question.

The plus about the DFCS is that they provide the fingerprints to you during the IMPACT training. The private adoption makes you go get fingerprinted somewhere. We had to goto the county jail. It was quite an event.

Now we wait to find out if DFCS wants to come out again to the house or if we go active soon.

My Fifth IMPACT Class - The Empire Strikes Back

This class was calm and we were covering behavioural issues which sounds like it would be good but we have covered that over and over over the past 5 weeks. The third module was transgender placements. Basically covering what you need to do if you have a child of a different race in your home. The State's opinion is that you need to expose the child to whatever "culture" he/she belongs to. That sparked a heated debate over what that means and the aspect of what difference does it make what skin color the child has. It would have been a cool debate if you hadn't worked 8 hours, gotten a baby sitter, rushed over to the DFCS office and then sat through 2 hours of mind numbing material.

On another note, have you guys watched the movie, "The Blind Side?" If you haven't then please go and try to see it. Great Great movie. Sandra Bulloch was phenomenol and this was a true story.

Catholic Charities

One agency to consider for a low cost adoption is the Catholic Charoties adoption program. http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/Page.aspx?pid=1670 In the Atlanta area, the program runs about 18k which is far lower than the other programs we were looking into. I don't endorse them because I have never used their service. I just want you to have some alternatives to check into. The last time I researched this, you do NOT have to be Catholic to use this service.

Best of luck

My Fourth Impact Class

So we are still in training with our Impact classes. Now let me tell you that these classes are pretty boring for the most part. Every week we have to read vocabulary words. So its like you are in elementary school. Now on the positive side we did get some good info this week. There's an organization in our county that helps foster parents with networking and gives them help in training information. They let us know that if you are a foster parent you must complete 10 hours of training a year. Very helpful. Because we are in the IMPACT training that will cover us for the first year.

We also wanted to get what is known as a Natural Helper form so that my wifes mother could keep the foster child. What this means is that her home will be visited by an case worker. Whereas the Respite workers have to take the IMPACT classes, the natural helpers just need their home inspected and to get fingerprinted.

Heres the link for our county org. http://www.fosteroradopt.org

Best of luck

143 Million.org

The 143 Million Campaign

See a video of Mack Powell and his wife Amy at the Catalyst conference in Atlanta. Catalyst is a conference sponsered by Andy Stanley and Northpoint Community church. They are really pushing people to adoption which fulfills the word of God. Check this out. Really good stuff.

Catalyst is recognizing our call to care for orphans and widows (James 1:27). As believers, we feel led and committed to respond to this call in the year ahead. If you do not know, there are 143 million orphans around the world. This statistic has gripped the Catalyst community and left a desire to be the hands and feet of Christ to those in need. Below are four important initiatives you can join. We are committed to care... are you open to what God has next?

http://143million.org/

What is ICPC?

First off, this is for Domestic adoptions only and not International. The Definition is Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) is an agreement by all 50 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. Virgin Islands, to provide a process to move children across state lines for the purpose of adoption, foster care or residential care, while protecting their safety and well-being. Every state has signed the ICPC and it is state law. The compact guarantees that each state's adoption laws and procedures are met and that the child's placement is properly managed and finalized. For more information about the ICPC, visit its website at http://icpc.aphsa.org

How does it work? Lets say that you live in GA and you are working with an agency who has matched you with a birth mom in NY. The agency calls you and you get on a plane and travel to NY for the birth. You are dismissed from the hospital in two days, ready to go back to GA with your new baby. Not so fast. Your agency will file paperwork to get the ball started for NY to shake hands with GA and say that its all right to bring the baby across state lines. Now what that means is that you have to wait until ICPC is signed before you can leave NY. Lets say that the baby is born in Manhatten. You don't have to stay in Manhatten, you can go to Buffalo, Albany, anywhere in the state, you just cant cross the state lines.

How long does it take? 7-10 days is the average. That depends on the adoption laws from that state. Your agency can help you with these rules. Good luck

My Third IMPACT class

This class was very interesting. In the last class, they seemed to indicate that you couldn't adopt an infant through the foster system. This class had several examples with how to take care of Infant through 18 months verses 18 months through 3, etc.. We are still working through the paperwork and it is getting better for this Thursday. My wife and I still have to get our septic system approved, and get our physicals. After our classes, we have the homestudy and they seem to indicate that will be scheduled during our classes. We are moving right along.

Tax credit

For many adoptive families, the Adoption Tax Credit has been a great benefit in making adoption affordable. Families who finalize an adoption in 2010 may be able to take advantage of a tax credit $12,170 for qualifying adoption-related expenses. The 2010 credit will begin to phase out with a modified adjusted gross income of $182,520 and will completely phase out at a modified adjusted gross income of $222,520 or more.
Families who finalized an adoption 2009 may qualify for an Adoption Tax Credit of $12,150. Families should consult with a qualified tax expert to learn more about claiming the Adoption Tax Credit.
Call to Action - Adoption Tax Credit to Sunset in 2010
The Adoption Tax Credit has helped families across the nation grow their family through adoption and has helped countless children in need find a forever family of their own. However, the Adoption Tax Credit is set to sunset at the end of 2010, in which it will then revert back to its original dollar limit of $5,000 per adoption or $6,000 for the adoption of a child with special needs.
South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson has introduced H.R. 213 - The Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act of 2009 to repeal the sunset of the Adoption Tax Credit. Adoptive families and adoption supporters are encouraged to contact Congress and voice their support of this important bill. To contact your congressman regarding support for H.R. 213, click here.
To learn more about the adoption tax credit, visit http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html

Funding your adoption

There are many ways to finance your adoption such as grants, foundations, loans, fundraising, reimbursement programs, etc. Below you will find some financial assistance options that we hope will help to make your dreams of adopting that special child come true.

GRANT PROGRAMS
The Gift of Adoption Fund: The Gift of Adoption Fund is a non-profit foundation. Gift of Adoption Fund is established to assist adoptive parents by providing cash grants to subsidize a portion of the costs of adoption. Grants are awarded on a monthly basis with sums ranging from $2,000 to $5,000. The grants are available to single parents, families with previous children, and prospective adoptive parents who are adopting internationally, interpedently or through an agency. Applicants may apply up to three times. www.giftofadoption.org
National Adoption Foundation: This program is open to all legal adoptions of non-related children including private adoption, agency adoption, international adoption, or special needs adoption. There is a simple one page application to fill out and the primary requirement for eligibility is a home study (either completed or in process). The Foundation's board meets four times a year, during the last week of each quarter, to award grants in amounts ranging from $500 to $4000. www.nafadopt.org

God's Grace Adoption Ministry: God's Grace Adoption Ministry Inc. was established as a non-profit organization to help provide needy children of the world with Christian families by helping adoptive-parents overcome the financial burden of adopting children. It is the belief of GGAM that the placement of children into Christian homes ministers to a child's physical and spiritual well being. Depending on the individual family needs, financial assistance is available in the form of grants and interest free loans. www.ggam.org

Home for Good: Home for good ministry focuses on adoption of older children, children with special needs and sibling groups. They offer resources, grants, loans and matching funds to encourage more families to adopt, and to ensure the success of those who undertake adoption. www.hfgf.org

Shaohannah's Hope: Shaohannah's Hope is dedicated to helping prospective adoptive parents overcome the financial barriers associated with adoption by awarding financial grants to qualified families already in the process of adopting. The size of the grant awarded is determined by several factors, the most important being need. www.shaohannahshope.org

TMG Foundation: TMG Foundation encourages God’s people to adopt a child by relieving some of the financial burden of adoption. They offer “Matching Grants” to help mobilize the Body of Christ (your church, family, and friends) to come alongside you and make an eternal investment in the life of an orphan child! They will match (dollar-for-dollar) the amount you raise up to a pre-determined amount. www.tmgfoundation.org

Hey don't forget about the adoption tax credit which is around 12k. My wife and I took out a home equity line of credit for our first adoption. Some companies also offer adoption grants. Wendy's is a big supporter of adoption. There's also borrowing from a 401k.

My Second IMPACT class

Well the first week was non eventful. In the second week, my wife and I asked a lot of questions concerning adopting infants through the foster system. The 2 ladies that are foster moms indicated that this is next to impossible without adopting a sibling group (typically 3 kids). The DFACS case worker indicated that there was a 5 year waiting list to adopt an infant.

So here's what we found out by questioning some friends and reading some forums. Is it possible? Yes. You may end up with a foster baby in your home for a day, a month, or a year before that child goes back to the bio parents. In other words, DFACS can tell you it looks as if this baby will end up in being adoptable. This is just a guess. That's your risk.

There is a ton of paperwork due this week. How was your relationship with your parents. How was your relationship with your siblings. That sort of thing. My wife and I are plowing through that paperwork for Thursday. Hope this helps. If you have any questions on the process please let me know.

My first Impact class

The first step to adopt through the Foster system is to attend an orientation. The next step is to attend Impact classes. In my county, we attend 7 weeks of classes and they started last Thursday. I really liked the group and it was actually good material. I was surprised to find out that a parent who has gone through the process will attend each session. We went through several scenarios with role playing. They also encourage you to get to know the others in the class to form your own group. I explained the importance of this in a previous blog. For a government agency, I was really pleased to find that most of the staff was great.

Here's an observation about foster adoptions verses the agency adoptions. The paperwork for the foster adoptions are a lot more extensive than the agency adoption that my wife and I have previously filled out. Now there are similarities but our paperwork consist of a binder of info. That's a lot of writing cramps :) Hey but the great thing about this is that instead of my wife and I trying to get the fingerprinting done for the GBI and FBI, the DFACS folks are doing that in this class. They also divide out the paperwork so you don't get overwhelmed. For the first class, I was impressed.

Here's a link for more information on IMPACT classes in GA.
http://www.dfcs.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DHS-DFCS/menuitem.5d32235bb09bde9a50c8798dd03036a0/?vgnextoid=28006f1ad2a25010VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

This should be similar to other states.

Good luck
Joe

Interesting article on AP

Haitian Orphans Arrive in US for Adoption, Medical Care
The children, ranging in age from infants to pre-teens
VOA News 19 January 2010

Frustration among Haitians growing as they still have no access to food, water and medical treatment, 19 Jan 2010
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Fifty-three orphans evacuated from earthquake-hit Haiti have arrived in the United States for medical care and adoption.Volunteers carried many of the young children in their arms as they disembarked from a military plane Tuesday in Pittsburgh, in the northeastern state of Pennsylvania.The children, ranging in age from infants to pre-teens, were taken immediately to a hospital for medical care.Many of the orphans were already in the process of being adopted by American families. The process usually takes months, but was expedited under an emergency humanitarian program announced by U.S. immigration officials Monday. The program is being applied on a case-by-case basis to children the Haitian government has confirmed are legally eligible for inter-country adoption.The earthquake that devastated Haiti's capital last week killed tens of thousands of people, adding to the number of Haitian orphans already in need of homes.The United Nations is establishing procedures to try to protect the children from trafficking, kidnapping and abuse.
Some information for this report was provided by AP, AFP

The Adoption Miscarriage

When we were waiting for a birth mom to pick us, we experienced a lot of anxiety. First you're physically invested in this with your time and energy, financially invested, emotionally invested. Its a tough road. So my wife and I are waiting for a birth mom to pick us and we found out that were in the final list of 5. Boy the heart starts pounding and you just know that out of 5 couples, you will be the number one. Well that didn't happen. Immediately you feel like you lost a child. Almost like you have miscarried. You hit the near match situation. Now we experienced this 3 times before we finally were matched with our sons birth mom. The experience was devistating.

I wish I could tell you how not to experience this. I wish I had answers but all I can tell you is to look forward to the actual day. Be prepared for the emotional ups and downs. Try to focus on whats ahead. One of the things that helped us through the whole adoption was our group at church. While this is not a religious blog, I encourage you to join or form your own support group. Friends and family members can be supportive. They may not understand but at this stage you just need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

Misconceptions about adoption

Lets talk about some misconceptions about adoption.
1. I don't know if I could love a child that I didn't conceive.
This is absolutely not the case. When you hold that child and look into his/her face, those fears about not being able to love the child go away. I only have my adopted son but I can't imagine loving a biological child any more.

2. My family won't accept an adopted child
Another myth. My family has embraced my son as their own. They love him as much as my nephew (Bio son of my brother)

3. That child won't accept his mother because she isn't his bio mother.
I can tell you that in our case, he never knew his Bio mother. My wife is the only Mom he has ever known. He embraced her from day one.

4. Because he doesn't get breast fed, the child won't bond with the mother.
I tell you this isn't the case either. If you think about we all know kids that weren't breast fed but have bonded with their mothers.

5. Adoption is too expensive.
There are many places to get financial aid including the adoption tax credit. There are several agencies offering aid. Don't forget to check with your work as well. My work offered 5000 towards the adoption credit. There are even banks that offer adoption loans. Dont forget about the foster system for adoptions.

6. If I adopt, I won't get the time off of work like a bio MOm.
Most work places offer the adoptive Mom the same time off that the bio Mom would recieve. My work place offers me, the Dad time off as well.

7. I have to go International to get a baby for adoption.
Abosolutley not. Many international countries won't allow you to get a baby below 10-12 months while domestic adoptions can recieve an infant at the hospital.

8. There is a long wait for adopting babies.
Not necessarily. You can find people waiting 2 years or 2 months. It just depends. My wife and I went active in November and our son was born in May.

My wife and I see our son in both of us. We have been told that he looks like both of us. He has some manorisms of both of us. We can swear that God put our DNA into him because he is so much like his parents. Best of luck

What are the steps to adoption

Step 1: Paperwork – Background Checks, Health Checks, Credit Checks, etc.

Step 2: Home Study – Normally 3 visits. If a husband and wife are adopting, one visit with both parents, one visit with the husband and one visit with the wife.

Step 3: Go active – This is the waiting game. You either wait on the Biological Mother to choose you or you wait on the State to choose you as the parent.

Step 4: Matched with the child or perspective parent.

Step 5: Consent by the biological mother and father

Step 6: Follow-up visit typically by the Home Study provider.

Step 7: Finalization