So you want to adopt. You even have the first bit of paperwork for registering and the questions comes up. What are you willing to accept? Are you willing to accept multiples? What about race of the child? What about where the parents were alcoholics? Drug addicts? Male or Female? Let me tell you the questions sometimes make your mind swim. The real answer here is try to be as open as possible. Remember that you as the parents have the last word. You can turn down any situation presented. I've posted earlier about different kinds of adoptions like open, semi-open or closed. How much contact with the birth moms are you willing to accept? The more open you are the more situations you are presented which will speed things along for you. A lot of people fear the race of the child. When you think about race, ask yourself if the woman in the picture was disappointed when he came along.
You're so right about these questions. You get asked so many at once that you need to take a deep breath and wrap your head around it all. My husband and I are pretty open but there are certain things you need to consider when making these decisions. Our caseworker really helped us in the making these choices when she said, "Unless you are absolutely, without a doubt, 100% comfortable with a situation (meaning race, health issues, etc.) NEVER say yes to it. You aren't doing yourself or that child any favors if you are not emotional capable for accepting them wholeheartedly."
ReplyDeleteSo as much as it would break our hearts to say "no" to child with (let's say) fetal alcohol syndrome we have to remind ourselves that we are not mentally and emotionally equip to give that child the best care possible. And it's not fair to anyone to say yes.