How to get your husband on board

So you have decided that adoption is right for you but your husband doesn't know if it is right for him. How do you get him on board? The first thing to realize is that men deal with facts and not emotion. You need to know the facts. This is what invitro costs, this is what adoption costs. The benefits are ? Explain the facts. It also doesn't hurt to slap him with reality. If we have a child today, in 20 years you will be on social security when he/she is in college :) Remember that most books are read by women and not men. He's typically the magazine reader not the book reader so make it easy for him to see the facts. If you have any friends that have adopted, talk to them. Preferably together. This will get him thinking about it for sure.

The Second thing to realize is that you need to sit down with him and talk to him undistracted. Don't let the TV or the radio or dinner get in the way. My wife and I talk about things after we get the kid in bed. Plan the moment. Get in his face and let him know what you are thinking. So now you have your facts together. You have the time set aside and now what.

The third tip is to share your heart. No this doesn't conflict with the first point. You need to share your heart. He fell in love with your heart. He needs to know what this adoption means to you and what it will mean to him. This is not the time to start World War II. With your facts in hand, he doesn't need to think "retreat". He needs to think that she really does care about this. She really wants this. She has put the time into this and I should think about this too.

Now you have shared your heart, the facts and you have done all of this in the perfect time. What next? Don't rush him. Leave him with the info and let him soak. He needs to feel like he decided to get on board, not like he was pushed over board. You get it. If you miss the fact that he needs to make the decision, you will own the process by yourself. You have to walk down this road together or when things get rough, its your fault. If he decides that night that this is the right thing to do then great but if he doesn't then give him some soaking time.

Don't give up. Adoption is the best decision that my wife and I have made. Let it be yours too.