Enduring the Wait
One prominent part of the adoption process is the wait. And you will do a lot of waiting. First there's waiting to meet with your chosen agency, birthparent, adoption attorney, or general adoption professional. Once you do that, you have to wait until your completed paperwork is filed and processed. Then, you have to endure the longest and most painful wait of all-the wait to bring your child home to your family. This painful wait can take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of years and it can cause a loss of hope and faith and a great deal of emotional pain. So, here are some helpful tips to help you endure the wait, all while smiling and maintaining your hope and excitement for the future.
Find Support - The first and most important thing you can do for yourself is to find stable emotional support. This means something different for everyone, but options could include joining a local or online support group for waiting adoptive parents, meeting with ecclesiastical or spiritual leaders, visiting a professional counselor, or gathering your friends and family around you during the tough and happy times of the wait. It doesn't matter where you find the support; just find it.
Keep Yourself Busy - Keeping yourself busy by preparing for the coming of your child is a great way to remain hopeful. If you sit for too long and dwell in the negative feelings you may experience, it will only amplify those feelings. And you definitely don't want that. You can get the child's room together, baby-proof the house, learn key phrases in the child's native language if you're adopting internationally, or even research baby names.
Improve Your Relationships - Because you may have a long wait ahead of you, it's the perfect time to improve and strengthen your already-established relationships, including your spouse, friends, children, and extended family members. Take some time to get to know each of them on a deeper level. This will give you a sturdier support system and help you better understand the blessings of close, personal relationships. And that will make you even more excited for the future adoption finalization.
Get Away - Whether this child will be your first child or you already have children at home, the adoption wait is a good time to get away from the everyday stresses of your life. You could just into a local hotel or resort or travel to a hotspot destination. Use this time to relax and get your mind focused on one of the most important things in life--your family. Because adoption can be very expensive, you may not have the funds to plan an extensive trip to a tropical island for a few weeks. If this is the case, plan a little vacation right in your own home. Take time off of work and just focus on enjoying some time alone or with your family.
Enduring the adoption wait can become debilitating and it can even feel like you're suffocating. It can easily become overwhelming in a matter of days or weeks. But, if you try out some of the suggestions above, you will find that the wait is more manageable. When the wait becomes endurable, you will become more at ease and you will be able to appreciate the process all the more. Think of this time as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, strengthen your weaknesses, and improve on your strengths. You'll be a better, stronger person because of it, and that will make adoption finalization even sweeter
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