How to Welcome a Foster Child

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Welcoming a foster child into your home can be an exciting and rewarding experience. However, it can also be a challenging and potentially stressful situation for both you and the child. Fortunately, there are things you can do to make the transition safe and as stress-free as possible for you and your foster child.

Steps

1. Educate yourself as much as you can. The more you know about the child and his history, the easier it will be for you to understand his behavior.
   
   
2. Prepare your family for the child's arrival. Inform your extended family members that the child will be coming to stay with you and may be joining you at family gatherings. Speak with your immediate family about their expectations of the foster child and discuss any problems you can anticipate. For example, you may want to speak with your family about any special needs the child may have and how you will be dividing your time between the foster child and the rest of your family members. If you already have children, schedule time with each of them. This will decrease resentment between your children and the foster child, and will help ease the transition.
   
   
3. Be realistic. Your foster child will need to adjust to a new environment filled with new people, places, and policies. These adjustments require time and patience.
   
   
4. Be clear about your expectations. Once the child has had time to get settled, make sure she knows the rules of the house. The clearer you are about your expectations at the beginning, the less likely you are to have problems.
   
   
5. Listen to the child's questions and concerns. It is important for him to know that you care about what he has to say.
   
   
6. Develop a plan to deal with behavior problems. When the child misbehaves, be clear about why she is being punished. Explain why the behavior was wrong and that misbehaving has consequences. Be consistent when disciplining the child. End the conversation on a positive note.
   
   
7. Build self-esteem. Foster children, perhaps more than any other group of children, tend to suffer from low esteem. As such, it is important to encourage them and to help them participate in activities that will boost their self-esteem whenever possible.
   
   
8. Invite the child to family events. Even if she chooses not to go, it is important that that she feels included.
   
   
9. Prepare your house. This is particularly important if the foster child is very young. It is essential that you create an environment that is both physically and emotionally safe.
   
   
10. Help the child create a personal space. Even if you don't have an entire room available, set aside an area of the house (bed, wall, closet, etc). Once the child has seen the space, help her decorate it in a way that is meaningful to him. This will help the child feel at home, and it will give both of you the opportunity to get to know one another better.
    
    

Sources and Citations

• http://www.thechildrenstrust.org/10-tips-for-talking-with-kids-about-tough-issues/788
  
  
• http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/fostercare/living.asp
  
  
• http://foster-care.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/helping-your-foster-child-feel-at-home
  
  

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