Why that depends on the agency you choose. Most agencies call you at the birth, you travel to the hospital and are there at the birth of your child. Depending on the birth mom, you name the child. The attorney met us at the hospital and got sign off from the birth mom for her rights. Then the child basically got handed to the lawyer and back to us.
Now my wife and I are working with another agency in the state of GA. That agency does things a little differently. They place the child in a home where they hold it for 10 days while they wait for the mothers rights to be terminated. At that point, the child is handed to us for finalization. Both ways are neat. As a first time father, I learned a lot from the nurses at my sons birth. They really taught us how to care for an infant. We learned a ton. My wife was even wheeled out in a wheel chair with the baby. I understand from some online sites that the wheel chair for adoptive moms is common. The hospital staff was great with us so you can tell they have done that a lot. They let us stay in a hospital room Others sometimes stay at the local Ronald Mcdonald house. That all depends on the hospital you use.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
How to choose an agency
When you adopt, one of the biggest choices you have to make is what agency you will work with. There are some great agencies out there and there some agencies who just want your money. Speaking of money, some agencies want everything up front and others will let you pay gradually. Let me tell you that one of the biggest challenges in adopting is putting all of your money and your emotions out there and then trusting that the agency will "Do the right thing." Believe me that you don't want to get in that situation. My wife and I lost 2500 dollars at one agency and it then went out of business. We came out with our son so we are thankful because other couples lost 10's of thousands of dollars. So how do you avoid those costly mistakes?
1. Use a referal of a friend where possible
2. Check the Better Business Bureau
3. Google that business. Lets be honest, you have to take this step with a grain of salt because, if you're happy with your adoption, you probably don't care about leaving a good comment but all of the folks who complain use the internet to "Vent".
4. You may consider using a referral agency first. They should be able to look at the available children of multiple agencies and then pair you up with the right one. PLEASE investigate all agencies.
One of the things my wife and I are doing with this adoption is using an agency that is basically a pay as you go. Plus there is no payment due until the child is yours. Other agencies like you to pay them and then if the match fails, you lose your "At Risk" money. So these agencies have a budget for adoptions fees, then a budget for the Birth Mom expenses and the Birth Mom expenses are "At risk" depending on how much of that budget the birth mom uses. So just to review your fees might include:
1. Application Fee - Register with agency
2. Home Study Fee - Your homestudy
3. Agency Fee - Agency expenses
4. Post Placement Fee - Followup when child is in home
5. Legal Fees - Attorney to close the adoption.
6. Birth Mother Fees - utilities, rent, etc while the mom has the baby
Some agencies might call them different things but that's the core list. Some agencies want you to find your own lawyer and others want you to use their lawyers. Ensure what fees are included in the total price.
You will also see a lot about how long it will take to complete your adoption. Some couples wait 2 years and others will wait 2 weeks. Look at the average wait times. How many couples are there in your program? I'm sure I have missed a lot but this will hopefully get you thinking about what you need. Please ask questions if you need anything.
1. Use a referal of a friend where possible
2. Check the Better Business Bureau
3. Google that business. Lets be honest, you have to take this step with a grain of salt because, if you're happy with your adoption, you probably don't care about leaving a good comment but all of the folks who complain use the internet to "Vent".
4. You may consider using a referral agency first. They should be able to look at the available children of multiple agencies and then pair you up with the right one. PLEASE investigate all agencies.
One of the things my wife and I are doing with this adoption is using an agency that is basically a pay as you go. Plus there is no payment due until the child is yours. Other agencies like you to pay them and then if the match fails, you lose your "At Risk" money. So these agencies have a budget for adoptions fees, then a budget for the Birth Mom expenses and the Birth Mom expenses are "At risk" depending on how much of that budget the birth mom uses. So just to review your fees might include:
1. Application Fee - Register with agency
2. Home Study Fee - Your homestudy
3. Agency Fee - Agency expenses
4. Post Placement Fee - Followup when child is in home
5. Legal Fees - Attorney to close the adoption.
6. Birth Mother Fees - utilities, rent, etc while the mom has the baby
Some agencies might call them different things but that's the core list. Some agencies want you to find your own lawyer and others want you to use their lawyers. Ensure what fees are included in the total price.
You will also see a lot about how long it will take to complete your adoption. Some couples wait 2 years and others will wait 2 weeks. Look at the average wait times. How many couples are there in your program? I'm sure I have missed a lot but this will hopefully get you thinking about what you need. Please ask questions if you need anything.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Who names the Baby?
In our case, the Birth mom allowed us to choose the name of the baby. That Baby then was named the first name and middle name that we chose and took the birth mom's last name. So lets say the Birth Mom's name is Sarah Jones. Your name is Jim Smith. You want the babies name to be Mary Elizabeth. The Baby will leave the hospital with Mary Elizabeth Jones. When you finalize the adoption in front of the judge, the baby takes on your last name so the name will then become Mary Elizabeth Smith. If the Birth Mom will not allow you to choose the babies name, you can change the name at the finalization hearing as well.
So lets take this one step further. When you take that baby home, you have to add the baby to your insurance. That baby will be named Mary Elizabeth Jones even though your name is Smith so make sure that appears on the Insurance Card. This can be strange for a while but Mary will have your name soon enough. Best of luck
So lets take this one step further. When you take that baby home, you have to add the baby to your insurance. That baby will be named Mary Elizabeth Jones even though your name is Smith so make sure that appears on the Insurance Card. This can be strange for a while but Mary will have your name soon enough. Best of luck
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
What if the father is out of the picture
We had a situation in our adoption where the father was out of the picture. What does that mean for the adoption? Well its pretty simple really. Under the law, your attorney will file a notice in the newspaper of the county of the father. That notice will continue for 4 weeks depended on the state law. After that, you will be considered to have completed your "due dilligence". You have satisfied the law.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Choosing your attorney
One of the things that I will do different in the second adoption that I didn't do in the first adoption was to choose an attorney that works in my county. In the first adoption, the adoption agency chose the attorney for us. So the attorney works in downtown Atlanta and we live in the suberbs. This attorney had to jump through many hoops that I think he wouldn't have had to if he was local. In addition to that, we had to pay for multiple trips to our county from downtown Atlanta which is 30 plus miles one way. This just prolonged the adoption and added to our budget and frustration level. Take my advice, the "Good Ole Boy" system is still in use out there and if you have a choice, use an attorney that primarily works in the county you reside. He will know the judges and have worked with them and know what they like and don't like.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Post Placement visit
What is the post placement visit? This is the follow-up visit where someone comes out to your home and completes a report which states that the child is thriving in your home. So lets take a walk through your adoption journey.
Step 1: Paperwork – Background Checks, Health Checks, Credit Checks, etc.
Step 2: Home Study – Normally 3 visits. If a husband and wife are adopting, one visit with both parents, one visit with the husband and one visit with the wife.
Step 3: Go active – This is the waiting game. You either wait on the Biological Mother to choose you or you wait on the State to choose you as the parent.
Step 4: Matched with the child or perspective parent.
Step 5: Consent by the biological mother and father
Step 6: Follow-up visit typically by the Home Study provider.
Step 7: Finalization
Ok, this should put things in perspective. Before finalization, an agency will do a follow-up visit to see how things are going. Think of it like the homestudy for the court. You have done all of the work for the birth mom to pick you. Now its time to shift your focus to the court. Typically this step is completed by the agency that completed your home study. In our first adoption, our agency was in Kansas. We had to get our home study completed on our own. We used a local agency from Georgia. The cost of the home study included the followup for the post placement visits. In Georgia, we had to complete 2 post placement visits. Your state might be different. Don't worry because its almost over at this point. After this step, the lawyer schedules the finalization hearing and its over.
Step 1: Paperwork – Background Checks, Health Checks, Credit Checks, etc.
Step 2: Home Study – Normally 3 visits. If a husband and wife are adopting, one visit with both parents, one visit with the husband and one visit with the wife.
Step 3: Go active – This is the waiting game. You either wait on the Biological Mother to choose you or you wait on the State to choose you as the parent.
Step 4: Matched with the child or perspective parent.
Step 5: Consent by the biological mother and father
Step 6: Follow-up visit typically by the Home Study provider.
Step 7: Finalization
Ok, this should put things in perspective. Before finalization, an agency will do a follow-up visit to see how things are going. Think of it like the homestudy for the court. You have done all of the work for the birth mom to pick you. Now its time to shift your focus to the court. Typically this step is completed by the agency that completed your home study. In our first adoption, our agency was in Kansas. We had to get our home study completed on our own. We used a local agency from Georgia. The cost of the home study included the followup for the post placement visits. In Georgia, we had to complete 2 post placement visits. Your state might be different. Don't worry because its almost over at this point. After this step, the lawyer schedules the finalization hearing and its over.
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