The best feeling ever

My kids are growing up in front of my eyes and I love it and hate it at the same time.   When you see your kids every day, you don't notice things like those who don't live with them.  Take my parents for instance, who always comment on how tall my son is getting or some feature that's changing.  Wow it can happen almost over night it seems.   On some hand, I want them to stay small.  On the other hand, I want them to grow up.   

Now the best feeling to me so far as a Dad of a 4 year old and almost 1 is the sleepy time.  My youngest was not feeling well last Sunday so my wife kept him in the service and he slept the whole time.  Holding your kids sleeping is something I like for some reason.  Perhaps its the peace they experience.  Perhaps its because you are holding them still and you know that won't last forever.   My wife was tired of holding my youngest on Sunday so she handed him to me.  I took him and he woke up for a second and looked at me as if to say, "Ok, its Dad" and then he went back to sleep.   That is it. 

Sometimes, I get to do the same with my 4 year old.  He does nap on occasion.  Mostly Sundays.  And most of the time he will wake up when I go get him, but sometimes he will let me hold him.  If you know anything about 4 year olds, they don't slow down much.   When he does it is special.  When life slows down just long enough to take one of the things that you would give your life for if that's what it took for them to live, and hold them the world stops.  Everything else doesn't matter.   Except you and them.   That's the best feeling ever.

What I have learned about situations

In Adoption, the children are called situations.  Kind of odd to call it a situation but that is the term.  My wife and I have friends that are adopting.  They are being presented situations now.   One of the situations is twins to be born in February.  If you just put down 10k and the situation doesn't work out, you won't get your money back.   What?   Now this is odd isn't it?   But is it really odd if you are the one who is adopting for the first time and you have always wanted twins?   This is what my wife calls the red flag.  Now not only is the money a red flag but the time is.   Let me back up a second.   They are going through something that I have talked about before, called a referral agency.  Meaning that this agency points them to many other adoption agencies with situations.  

So the danger in an adoption is choosing an agency and giving them money and that particular situation doesn't work out.   Then what happens?  Well normally, they apply any money toward the next situation but you are "stuck" with that agency for your adoption.  It doesn't matter if your referral agency has plenty of situations available with other agencies because your money is tied up with this one.   Does that make sense?  

So how do you avoid the traps?   Well, work with a good referral agency who is looking for your best interests.   Then choose adoption situations that are due sooner rather than later.  For example, if a baby is due next week and the twins are due in February, then choose the baby due next week.   There is a lot of risk by committing to a situation that is that far out.  The birth mom could take you and then 6 weeks from now meet a local couple that looks perfect for her child.  She could decide over Christmas that she wants to keep the child.  She could find relatives that want to adopt.  You see the issue?   Time is really your enemy.  Oh yeah, it helps to have the time to plan because you now have a due date. However, what are the risks?

This is where you and your wife have to make a decision based on facts and not emotions.   Pray about it. If its the right child then God will open doors.   My second child, we said no before he was born. Then after he was born, we said yes.   And guess what.  He is the perfect child for us.  

God Bless

Joe