Why you shouldn't worry about the Homestudy

Home study visits primarily serve to ensure your home meets State licensing standards (e.g., working smoke alarms, safe storage of firearms, safe water, adequate space for each child, etc.).   If you are using the Adoption through the State method, the State will perform the homestudy.  The agency or State will generally require the worker to see all areas of the house or apartment, including where the children will sleep, the basement, and the back yard. He or she will be looking for how you plan to accommodate a new family member (or members, if you are planning to adopt a sibling group). Social workers are not typically inspecting your housekeeping standards so don’t worry about a white glove test. 

If you are adopting through an agency, the homestudy was basically hired by you.  Think about it, you are paying for their services.  You are the customer.   Typically they are there to advise you on your home and not to keep you from moving to the next step in your adoption.   So rest easy that this is not a hurdle but a turn in the road.   God Bless you.

How to Install a Car Seat

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
The birth of a new child brings many challenges, one of which is ensuring your baby stays safe. Incorrect installation of a car seat is often overlooked, resulting in putting your newborn’s life in danger. By following the steps set forth in this TaskMap you can rest assured knowing that each trip your baby goes on is a safe one.

Steps

Rear Facing Car Seat

1. Place the car seat in the backseat. Face the car seat towards rear window. Using the backseat is always safer for infants, this is especially true in a car with air bags. If it is necessary to place the baby in the passenger seat be sure to turn off passenger airbag (Refer to the owner's manual on how to do so).
2. Attach seat belt tightly to car seat base. Check owner's manual/ seat belt label for tightening instructions . New car seats may use lower latch anchors to attach the car seat, refer to manual for instructions on how to use these anchors. WARNING: Do not use lower anchors and seat belts together. The car seat is tight when you pull it side to side and it does more than 1 inch.
3. Ensure car seat in reclined sufficiently, this is so that the baby's head will wont flop forward. Never tilt the car seat more than halfway (45 degrees) back. Use indicator on the car seat or base as a guide. If necessary place rolled towel under the base (only if manual says it is okay to do so).
4. Dress baby in tight clothing. This will help prevent irritation from the crotch strap. Do not dress the baby in heavy clothes as tighten the straps snugly may not be possible.
5. Put shoulder straps in lowest possible position. Use slots next to or below baby's shoulders and position chest clip at armpit level.
6. Tuck rolled up blankets along the baby's sides. Padding helps get the baby comfortable. Never use inserts, blankets, or towels under or behind the baby.
7. Roll up and place a washcloth between the baby and the crotch strap.
8. Adjust the harness straps. If you can pinch a loop of the strap, tighten the harness more.
9. Cover baby with a blanket. During cold weather, it is especially important keep your baby's body warm. Make sure blankets are tucked in under the baby and cannot cover baby's face and neck.

Front Facing Car Seat

1. Read the instruction manual. Each car seat requires different harness slots, so it's best you determine this information from the manual specific to the car seat you're using.
2. Place the car seat in the back of your car. The base should be flat on the seat of the car and the back should be straight up against the cushion. Raise or remove head restraints if necessary.
3. Find the belt path on the car seat. It should be marked with stickers (usually located in the back of the seat).
4. Attach the car seat's tethers to your car's tether anchor. If your car seat doesn't have tethers, consider calling your manufacterer to see if they can be added—they can dramatically increase safety in your car [1].
5. Ensure a snug harness. Consider having your installation double-checked by a child passenger safety technician to ensure proper installation.

Video

Tips

• Unless provided with no alternative, always install the car in the back seat facing the rear window (for rear facing car seats). If this is not possible, ensure that the passenger air bag is turned off (check your car’s owner’s manual for directions on shutting off the airbag). The force that the airbag deploys in is so great that it could kill your child (even if the accident was a simple fender bender), do not take this risk.
• Use the infant rear facing car seat as long as possible, meaning; until the baby’s head is within 1 inch of the top shell of the car seat or until the baby reaches the car seat’s weight limit. Once your baby has outgrown the infant car seat, move onto using a rear-facing convertible seat. The rear facing convertible should be used until as long as possible (until your child has outgrown the seat).
• Singing or playing with your baby will help calm him down
• Use the angle indicator to ensure that the car seat is reclined properly
• In many countries, Police stations will check your car seat installation if you have any doubts about it being properly secured. In other countries, the local DMV equivalent will be the correct government body for such inspections -check your local regulations. A car accident could happen at any time, its best to ensure your child’s safety.
• Due to changes in regulations, some (even slightly) used car-seats may now be illegal -check before you buy.
• Also check with the manufacturer if parts of a car seats have been recalled (this has happened), since many will offer free upgrade kits or repairs.

Warnings

• Never remove a child from their car seat while the vehicle is in motion
• Do not use latch anchors and seat belts together to secure a car seat
• Do not dress your child in too many layers as this may make it difficult or impossible to secure the harness straps

Related wikiHows

• How to Buy Car Seat Covers
• How to Keep a Child Car Seat Dryer While Potty Training
• How to Make a Desk Chair from a Car Seat
• How to Reupholster a Dining Chair Seat
• How to Travel by Plane With an Infant or Toddler

Sources and Citations

• http://www.carseatsite.com/installing_your_car_seat.htm

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Install a Car Seat. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

NICU babies

If you are adopting a baby and that baby is in the NICU, when does the count down start for ICPC? The countdown for the ICPC clock starts after discharge. That could mean you are 1-2 weeks or more in the NICU and then 1-2 weeks for ICPC depending on the state. You may want to consider being there for the birth and meeting the birth mom if necessary and then flying home. Then going back to pick up the baby later. You know this may feel like you are leaving your child but you are really being a good steward of your time. Yes, you can learn a lot from the nurses but you can also feel good that your baby is still getting great care.

Its unfortunate that we have to go through ICPC at all but that's how it works today. Anyone want to go try and change this law?

Birth Mother Expenses

Adoption fees can sometimes be crazy. Registration fees, homestudy fees, admin fees, agency fees, finalization fees, attorney's fees. You feel like there is a vacuum cleaner next to your wallet and its sucking all of your money out. One of the fees that you run into is the birth mother fees. Now these are fees that pay for the birth mother expenses such as utilities, rent, etc. while she is pregnant and can't work.

Here are some things you might want to realize:
1) Not all agencies have birth mother fees. My agency does not
2)Most birth mother fees are "at risk" meaning that if the birth mother backs out of the adoption, you have lost whatever fees you paid her. Be careful here because that could be almost 1/3 of your adoption budget.
3)Keep your own records. If the agency pays something to the birth mother, then make sure you know how much. Some agencies are in this for the money so watch yourself. There is a ton of money going in and out of these agencies. Also don't get scammed by an agency that says they are Christian agency. My first child's Christian agency was shutdown. Do your research. check the Better Business Bureau for complaints against that agency. My wife and I are with a Christian agency now and love it. There are good agencies out there.

Best of luck and let me know how I can help

Toddler Sayings

Understanding children can sometimes be challenging and other times it is cute. I thought I would share some of my sons vocabulary.

chichen and wies - Chicken and Fries
stick - Popsicle
facee - Pacifier
Dragon - Dinosaur - Really it means to turn on the Land Before Time video
Marney - Barney

Waiting times

So you have filled out all of your paperwork. You have completed your home study. You have taken the physical and have your fingerprints back at the agency. Everything looks good. The agency tells you you're active. What is the average wait time. The answer is "It depends." What does it depend on. Well you have to be chosen by a birth mom. Well how long does that take? Weeks to Years. I have heard of people being active for a week and I have heard of couples being active for 2 years. It all depends on the agency.

On our first agency, they had the one year and under category. That was basically if your budget was huge. So that is saying that you have a standard costs and then there is the Birth Mom funds for things such as rent, utilities, etc. If the birth mom had a lot of expenses, then that was passed to the adoptive couple. So if your budget for Birth Mom expenses was say $5,000 and a birth mom had $8,000 in expenses, then you would not be chosen. The bigger your budget, the more birth moms that the agency could expose you to. Or so we were told. Then they had the second category for everyone else. Lower budget = longer wait. Note that this is not the case with all agencies. Choose your agency wisely.

Other items such as what you are open to might also extend your waiting time. So lets say you are not open to mothers with a history of alcoholism, or drugs. Or you don't want to consider multiples, or maybe a sibling group. Or you want a particular race of child. Being as open as possible is best. You also don't want to be open for something you are not ready for. For example: I have heard of a couple that was willing to consider hispanic babies but when they saw the child, said the baby was too dark. That situation was not good for the couple, the agency or the birth mom. Know your limits.

Preparing the kid for the next event

Being a first time parent. I am still learning how to do this. Regardless of what think I know, I continue to learn about being a better parent. One of the things that we have learned is to prepare Aiden for what's next. This might be obvious to the rest of you parents. But we tell him, 5 more minutes and we are going to get out of the bath and go get some milk. Or say goodbye to all of your friends and we are going to go home. Kids seem to need the transition and it works well for him. It has really cut down on a lot of frustration on his part and ours.

He is two this year and he is very strong willed. He likes to know where everyone is. Another thing that helps is to tell him the truth. So before I leave for work in the morning, I tell him where I am going. Now he tells people, Daddy's at work. He is visiting with Nana and Papa this week. He asked Nana the other day, "Where's Mommy?" Nana told him, Mommy's at your house but you're with Nana and Papa and we love you very much. Aiden said, "I love ya'll too". Just as plain as day. Gotta love that as a Dad.