Being Open

So you want to adopt. You even have the first bit of paperwork for registering and the questions comes up. What are you willing to accept? Are you willing to accept multiples? What about race of the child? What about where the parents were alcoholics? Drug addicts? Male or Female? Let me tell you the questions sometimes make your mind swim. The real answer here is try to be as open as possible. Remember that you as the parents have the last word. You can turn down any situation presented. I've posted earlier about different kinds of adoptions like open, semi-open or closed. How much contact with the birth moms are you willing to accept? The more open you are the more situations you are presented which will speed things along for you. A lot of people fear the race of the child. When you think about race, ask yourself if the woman in the picture was disappointed when he came along.

New Direction

As for me and my house we are moving on. We are waiting for our homestudy to be approved by the County DFACS. What was supposed to be 4 weeks has turned into 12 weeks and we are moving on. We are pursuing an adoption agency in Macon, GA called Covenant Care Adoptions. They come suggested from a friend and so we are now filling out the paperwork. We have somewhat of a jumpstart because we already completed our fingerprints and have the septic tank inspected, etc.. Their first class starts in August. So we trusting God and waiting until August. Please pray for me and my family.

The cost of children

In the adoption world, there is a little known fact that race does effect the cost of babies for adoption. Adoption in itself is quite expensive but an african american child can cost as much as 10k less than a caucasion child. So Caucasion children are more expensive than hispanic children which are more expensive than african american children. I really don't understand how this can happen in 2010. How can supply and demand enter into the price of adoption? Here's an example: The same agency is offering an AA child for 20k. Caucasion/Hispanic mix for 28k and full caucasion for 33k. Sad but true story.

Adoption Tax credit News :)

The adoption tax credit, a benefit that helps make adoption more affordable for families, was increased and extended as part of the health care reform bill recently signed into law by President Obama.

Families who finalize an adoption in 2010 may now be able to take advantage of a tax credit of $13,170 for qualifying adoption-related expenses. The adoption tax credit was also made refundable for all types of adoption.

The adoption tax credit has helped families across the nation grow their family through adoption and has helped countless children in need find a forever family of their own. However, the tax credit was set to sunset at the end of 2010 and revert back to its original dollar limit of $5,000 per adoption or $6,000 for the adoption of a child with special needs. However, also as part of the health care reform bill, the credit has been extended until December 31, 2011.

Families should consult with a qualified tax expert to learn more about claiming the adoption tax credit.

To learn more about the adoption tax credit, visit http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html.

The day he took my name

When I think back to the adoption path one of the happiest days for me was the day my son took my name. I remember going to Dr visits and feeling so strange that my child had another persons name. Knowing that he would wear my name was a really great day that I look back on with pride. It was also the finalization hearing and so after that, our adoption journey was complete. After having a struggle to get to that point the finalization hearing turned out to be uneventful. The judge called us back to his office, we took some pictures and we were done. Aiden was my son the day I took him home from the hospital but when he took my name it was my aha moment. A day I will always remember.

The Waiting Game

We finished our IMPACT classes about 3 weeks ago. We are now in the waiting game. The part of the process where you wait to become active. It also happens when you wait for being matched. Then if you are going through a regular adoption you go wait some more for the baby to be born. Then you wait for parents rights to be terminated, then you wait some more for the final trial. When our son was born the adoption was finalized in December. On the last day that they were to finalize adoptions for my county. I am so glad that we finalized before the end of the year because I couldn't wait to get my tax refund. :)

Nesting - No you are not crazy

In the animal kingdom as with expecting mothers there is a somewhat humorous phase referred to as Nesting. During this phase the mother, acting on a primal instinct, has a tendency to prepare the “nest” for the arrival of the child. Parents preparing to adopt and awaiting the arrival of their new child have reported experiencing this phase as well.

Adoptive mothers have reported experiencing this phase particularly close to the arrival of their referral and in the weeks that lead up bring their child home permanently. Mothers who have birthed children or adopted previously claim to experience this phase again. My wife was nesting and totally wanted the nursery done. Walls painted and curtains and bookshelf and pictures.. The whole works. This seemed to help busy her while she/we waited on the match. HINT - Just remember to paint the walls a neutral color. We had to go this route because we didn't know if we were having a girl or a boy.

Just as with biologically expecting mothers there may be an urge to clean one’s house from top to bottom, rearrange everything, and sanitize, sanitize, sanitize. Adoptive parents, but especially mothers, desire to complete the furnishing and decoration of the new child’s bedroom. The preparation of this room is icing on the cake and a reminder of the life that is about to come home and inhabit that space. In addition, in a time of very little control and a lot of waiting nesting behaviors can give adoptive parents a sense of control as they in are charge of the home preparation.

The expert advise is to have fun with the nesting phase without being irrational! Bring other family members into the preparation and planning as much as possible, particularly siblings that may feel left out by the sudden attention taken away from them and onto re-organization of the closet for the 3rd time!

As you nest at home, whether you are an adoptive mother or father, do not forget to prepare your heart and the emotional needs of the members of your family for the arrival of your precious new child. Some things are more important than fresh paint and a dirt free floor.

Have fun preparing the nest!

TIP>>Watch the movie Juno - great clip of nesting.